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oknope:

"what will you do if your boyfriend cheats on you?"
me: 
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  • 5 hours ago
  • 88730

dutchster:

Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?

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  • 5 hours ago
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lindsaylohoean:

i failed at raising a tamagotchi how the fuck am i supposed to raise a child

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  • 5 hours ago
  • 70874

queeflto:

yes i lift.. im an elevator thats all i do

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  • 5 hours ago
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cramp:

snapchat sucks because you get to see all the cool stuff people didn’t invite you to as they do it

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  • 5 hours ago
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  • 5 hours ago
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bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them
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  • 5 hours ago
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  • 5 hours ago
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  • 5 hours ago
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racistmom:

2 notes doesnt pay the rent 

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  • 5 hours ago
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punkbread:

when all your favorite people are online

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  • 5 hours ago
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potatoandotherwise:

in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out

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  • 5 hours ago
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slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"

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  • 5 hours ago
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a-dur:

onefitmodel:

realising that we’re almost halfway through the year 2013 and i have literally achieved nothing 

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realising that you’re reading this almost halfway through 2014 and still haven’t achieved anything

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  • 5 hours ago
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gay8:

riddle me this atheists: if god isn’t real then who is inside the kleenex box pushing up the next tissue

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  • 5 hours ago
  • 23807
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